..."BELCH LOUDER THAN A BLASTMASTER." Unable to release these unwholesome gasses, the internal bursting of the spawn's organs caused him to expand and contract like an epileptic puffer-fish. The unholy anatomy of the spawn quickly recovered, and the entire affair was little more than an annoyance. Now having been defeated by luck, the Greater Bad, and his strange arrangement of orifices, the former Chaos Lord consigned himself to...

...try his utmost to try and convince one of these battling factions not to murder him. Delighted by this new plan of utmost cunning, he decided to approach the T'au-born Ethereal and, speaking as suavely as a Human-turned-Astartes-Turned-Chaos Worshipper-turned-Chaos-Lord-turned-winged Chaos Spawn-turned-a large flying spasming puffer-fish-turned-Chaos-Spawn can. And so, he smoothly said...

... "Your mouth, give it to me, now."...

and lost his wings and...

...fell to the ground with an undignified splat. Laying there with no aid for what seemed like millenia, a Blood Raven came upon him. Just as he realised what would befall him, the Blood-Raven lifted his boot, and slammed it down, turning the fallen Lord of Chaos to a bloody pulp.

********************************************


A Chaos Lord was walking on the battlements of the Fortress of Khorne, when all of a sudden,he turns in to a warp spawn. But then, the Blood God decided to take pity on him, and gave him Warp-Flame wings. He decided to fly across the Fortress of Khorne and give the finger to Slaanesh. As he began flying towards Slaanesh's palace, he saw a giant, old and badly defaced statue of the great Indrick Boreale, a monument raised by a particularly uppity Blood Raven in the middle of Khorne's citadel.

"One could only imagine how much theft the Blood Ravens would have been forced to partake in to make that statue.", the Chaos-Lord/Spawn thought to himself. "But enough lollygagging.", the Lord-Spawn thought to himself, before a giant yawning maw into the Materium opened up before him. He decided togo in all guns (or in his case wings) blazing, whatever was on the other side he would tear apart. Little did he know that on the other side, a member of the exalted Ethereal Caste was holding a speech in celebration of a new World having been added to a Sept. He decided that the best course of action was to dive at the upstart xenos and chop his broadcasting device apart, it would be funny to watch the Tau's faces when their Ethereal's speech was cut off halfway through.

But the Xenos turned just in time, causing his swing to hit a drone right next to him, which fizzled as sparks erupted from it's ruined form. The mass of Tauscreamed in horror and flailed their arms about, shooting their plasma-weaponry towards the general direction of the Warp-spawned-flying-thing. However, then the sky blackened as Boreale's Steehl Rehn began to descend upon the planet.

"WE SHALL DESCEND UPON THE FOE, WE WILL OVERWHELM THEM" was heard in the wind that was swept aside as the Drop Pods fell to the ground, and the Emperor's Angels of Death began their grim work. Our hero decided to proceed towards the enemy but tripped over something. looking down he found a small plaque with an image of some strange planet. To his suprise it read:

"Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon this strange realm. January 4th, 2114. We came in peace for all mankind."


He then proceeded to jump into a nearby crater which contained within it, yet another Warp Rift. Seeing the colossal battle behind him, and maw of the Immaterium ahead, he decided to pray to the Dark Gods for salvation, and then he noticed a distinct lack of anything happening. However, his tarrying had cost him, and now the Warp-Rift was gone. Unsure what to do next, he decided to attempt the most daring feat of his life: possess the body of Tau Ethereal by sheer force of will.
Concentrating hard, he grabbed a can of Greater Bad and drank the whole thing in a few seconds, then crushed the empty can on his forehead and tossed it aside only to realise that his current, winged, Spawn-form given to him by the Lord of Battles did not, infact have a mouth. In silence, he thought to himself:
"I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST BELCH LOUDER THAN A BLASTMASTER."
Unable to release these unwholesome gasses, the internal bursting of the spawn's organs caused him to expand and contract like an epileptic puffer-fish. The unholy anatomy of the spawn quickly recovered, and the entire affair was little more than an annoyance. Now having been defeated by luck, the Greater Bad, and his strange arrangement of orifices, the former Chaos Lord consigned himself to try his utmost to try and convince one of these battling factions not to murder him. Delighted by this new plan of utmost cunning, he decided to approach the T'au-born Ethereal and, speaking as suavely as a Human-turned-Astartes-Turned-Chaos Worshipper-turned-Chaos-Lord-turned-winged Chaos Spawn-turned-a large flying spasming puffer-fish-turned-Chaos-Spawn can. And so, he smoothly said:
"Your mouth, give it to me, now.",and lost his wings and fell to the ground with an undignified splat. Laying there with no aid for what seemed like millenia, a Blood Raven came upon him. Just as he realised what would befall him, the Blood-Raven lifted his boot, and slammed it down, turning the fallen Lord of Chaos to a bloody pulp.
****************************************
Oh Chaos Lord, we hardly knew ye.
Next person to post shall start up a new story. Onwards to glory!

Tis truly a sad end... He will be missed...
Once, there was a Blood Raven who stomped on a Human-turned-Astartes-Turned-Chaos Worshipper-turned-Chaos-Lord-turned-winged Chaos Spawn-turned-a large flying spasming puffer-fish-turned-Chaos-Spawn...