Hot of the presses, this is the latest on what 7th edition may yet hold for us! Cheers Matties, This is Natt Hord, the creator of Random Hammer 41K here to discuss some of the exciting things we have lined up for 7th edition! Too soon to be discussing the next edition? Perhaps so, but we wanted to let you all know that we’ve heard your pleas and want to give you more of the great spectating event that is playing a game of Random Hammer 41K! In 6th edition of Random Hammer we gave you random Psychic Powers, random Warlord Traits, random Objectives, random Terrain, and everyone’s favorite: random Charge Lengths! Because we all know, in the swirling melee of cataclysmic combat, plucky soldiers are as likely to fall flat on their faces in the wide open as they are to run through broken terrain as fast as a speeding motorbike! Cinematicality at its best! Will it be the Olympics…or the Special Olympics? Nobody knows! What fun! Why you may ask would we include random charge lengths? Well because with pre-measuring, it would be unsporting to know how far away from the enemy you must move to avoid a charge. Despite the fact that in previous editions not knowing how far away your opponent’s soldiers were while knowing how far your soldiers may charge is essentially the same thing…..but let’s not get hung up on silly details, right?! More is always more, so we thought to ourselves, why should we punish the dashing assaulty blokes because we added in pre-measuring, but not also punish shooting units which gain the same benefit from pre-measuring as assaulters do? The answer was quite clear to me: random weapon ranges! That’s right, in Random Hammer 41K 7th ed, you can expect random weapon ranges! Pistols? 2D6”! Rifles? 4D6”! Heavy Weapons? 8D6”! Huzzah! Because whilst locked in brutish and bloody, grim-dark combat, your elite, highly trained warriors’ ultra high-tech weapons may fire their rocket propelled shells as far as a spit ball, or across the table! Which will it be? Nobody knows! Weeee! But why stop there? In vicious, un-gentlemanly combat of the roughest sort, soldiers are as likely to flee in terror from the stark horrors of the 42nd Millennium as they are to charge courageously at the enemy. So, instead of moving your soldiers where you want, for each unit, roll a scatter die and 2D6” to see where and how far they go! Yes, truly Random Movement! How realistic!? Such cinematics! Soldiers running amok every which way in total Chaos, I say good chaps, we are truly observing the fog of war in action! As every commander in reality can’t choose their forces as they see fit but must work with what they have, instead of writing up an army list, you will roll for each FOC slot and take which ever unit you roll up until you run out of points! Truly, this is the way to show your mettle on the table top: a real general wins with any units! Huzzah! Ah yes, what a great game this shall be! You don’t control any aspect of what your soldiers do in any way, just like real war! So poor yourself a cup of tea and sit down to enjoy watching a game of Random Hammer 41K with your mates! And on an aside, to the rumors circulating that I own a large amount of shares in some silly game called Warmahordes, I say balderdash! Nothing more than a base lie spread by ruffians and scoundrels of the lowest order. But you know, if you are curious, I hear that game is pretty good, and you now, if you wanted to give it a try and buy some of the stuff, I wouldn’t hold it against you…. from http://www.frontlinegaming.org/
Just because 129. It is not funny to play ring toss with orks tusks. 130. When faced by the inquisition, dont laugh. 131. Necrons are not cans 132. Thou shalt not eat prunes before a battle 133. Thou shalt not refer to the company Techmarine as "Scotty." 134. Thou shalt not challenge the Terminator company to a game of "Twister." 135. Thou shalt not refer to ripper swarms as... "cute." 136. Thou shalt not refer to Catachan guard as "tree hugging hippies" 137. Thou shalt not suggest the Eldar "live long and prosper." 138. Thou shalt not tell a space wolf it smells as if something crawled up and died in their mouth. 139. Thou shalt not replace the Space Wolves store of Tuna with cans of puppy chow. 140. Thou shalt not use imperial guardsmen as sticks while playing fetch with a hive tyrant. 141. Thou shall not use flame falcons to toast thy marshmellows 142. Thou shall not ask an inquisitor's psyber-eagle "does polly wanna cracker?" 143. Thou shall not ask the Lametors "are ya feeling lucky punk, well are ya?" 144. Dating the Veteran Sergeant is the exclusive privilege of the Heavy weapon trooper 145. Thou shalt not ask the Eldar females if they are interested in a hand-portable 'Vibro Cannon'... 146. Thou shalt not strut around Imperial Guardsmen bragging about how 'well-equipped' you are. 147. Thou shalt not ask the Thousand Sons if they are that slow on purpose. 148. Thou shalt not tuant the Imperial Guard with threats of utilizing a lascannon upon their posteriors in an unnatural fashion. 149. Thou shalt NEVER, under any circumstances, interrupt a navigator's concentration during warp travel to ask him if you "are there yet." 150. Thou shalt not challenge Karandras the Shadow hunter to an arm-wrestling match 151. Thou shalt not refer to Eldar Swooping Hawk grenades as "bird droppings," nor shalt thou taunt them by using a mortar to pet them with birdseed. 152. Thou shalt not use the emperor's champion iron halo to play horseshoes in thy free time. 153. Thou shalt not use the chapter standard to dry thy undergarments upon 154. Thou shalt NEVER take the Steve Irwin Approach to Tyranids; if they do not respond to external stimuli, do not attempt to poke it with a stick. 155. Thou shalt not consider it "funny" to replace the smoke canisters in your Chapter's Land Raider's Smoke Launchers with narcotic substances 156. He who takes advantage of the Emperor's paralysis by painting his fingernails will be summarily executed 157. Thou shalt not replace the holy ungents for the machine spirit with grain alcohol 158. Thou shalt not invite a Banshee to Karoke 159. Thou shalt not nick-name the machine spirit Kit, Hal, Computer, or Rufus 160. Finally, Thou shalt not say my wraithlor took a squat. (With love to all the MODs in the world) 161.Thou shalt not use Land Raiders to "play chicken" with Imperial Guard’s Chimeras 162.Thou shalt not put a "Purge me!" sign on the back of the chaplains armour. 163.Thou shalt not tell the inquisitor "say what you want about Chaos, but those slaanesh can party!" 164.Though shalt not blast "flight of the Valkeries" when buzzing enemies in your land speeder (You know who you are, stinkin Ravenwing) 165.Thou shalt not trade His Most Delectible rations for gourmet eldar toufoo (sp?) 166.Thou shalt not offer backscratches when issued lightning claws 167.Yes, its cheating to use jumppacks during a basketball game 168.No, you can't pose for playgirl's "the men of the adeputs astartes" 169.Enforcing discipline is not sending the neophytes to procur strong munkish ale 170.Don't call the adeptus mechanicus about warranty information concerning your destroyed land raider 171.Don't shave a bloodthirster in his sleep-it only makes them more angry when they wake up 172.Do not deface His Most Blessed Battlebarges with the bumpersticker "We don't Brake" 173.thou shalt not ask the librarian if he has records concerning uranus 174.the flamer is NOT a novelty toaster 175.it is not funny to remove the motors from a terminators' suit during battle 176.Thou shalt not instigate a "my Primarch could beat up your primarch" debate 177.Thou shalt not punt grots for pleasure 178.Thou shalt not start rounds of "you might be a c'tan if" while imbibing strong monkish ale 179.Thou shalt not Compare There Height With That Of The Ratling Snipers 180.Thou Shalt not Go The Way of The Navy (Well, When do they get to See "Sisters"?) 181.Thou Shalt Not Kick the Emperor if he See's the Kick me sign on him. 182.Thou shall not try to prove you '1337' skills on necrons, in the eldar webway, or on the Martian central cogitator mainframe. 183.Thou shall not attempt to challenge the Eldar to games of 'Counterstrike'. 184.Thou shall not, in any way, shape, or form, take the land speeder joy riding. 185.Thou shalt not tuant the Imperial Guard with threats of utilizing a lascannon upon their posteriors in an unnatural fashion. 186.Thou shalt NEVER, under any circumstances, interrupt a navigator's concentration during warp travel to ask him if you "are there yet." 187. Thou shalt not through a bone at a bloodthirster or flesh hounds shoutin fetch 188.thou shalt not refer to Eldar Swooping Hawk grenades as "bird dropings," nor shalt thou taunt them by using amortar to pet them with birdseed. 189.Thou shalt not use the emperor's champion iron halo to play horseshoes in thy free time. 190.thou shalt not use the chapter standard to dry thy undergarments upon 193.Shoulder Pads are not to be removed for use as ice-cream scoops. 194.Thou shalt not replace our honoured brother Terminator Captain's Storm-bolter with a Vulcan Mega bolter, nor shalt thou feign surprise at his inability to lift it. 195.Thou shalt not distract our Librarian whilst he attempts to cast Smite, else thou shalt be forced to clean the inside of his helmet. 196.Thou shalt not replace a Thunderhawk's firebase supplies with bouncy castles. 197.Thou shalt not burn our Captain's robe on a cold night. 198.Thou shalt not replace the Apothecary's reductor with a syringe. 199.Undoing the straps between a brother and his jump-pack is not funny. 200.thou shal not ask salamanders for a light 201.thou shal not get blood angles to go to anger management classes 202.thou shalt not challeng white scars to a street race. 203thou shall not refere to imperial guard as gun fodder 204.20ft high electro-magnets should not be used around necrons 205.though shall not place the linra chaotica in your ex-wifes possestion 207.raid is compleatly usless against a carnifax 208.salamanders do not need to go to "how to stop burning things" classes 209.you shall not borrow the libraians psycic hood for the annual guess who compatiton. 210.thou shall not pour water on a avatar 211.Thou shalt not attach a "For Sale: Previously owned by one careful user" to the wreck of a destroyed Drednaught. 212.Thou shalt not feed bio-carbonate of soda to the Librarians Psyber raven (any one who's done this will understand why). 213.Thou shalt not use a rail gun as a see-saw. 214.Thou shalt not coment on Captain Tycho not having his "happy face" on. 215.Thou shalt not mention the phrase "bath time" in front of the space wolves. 216.Thou shalt never mention, under pain of death, the stunted race of humanoids who mystiriously disapeared from the universe for unexplained reasons. 217.Thou shalt not consider a detatchment to Armageddon as a "Holiday". 218.Thou shalt not refer to Talarn as "the big beach". 219.Thou shalt not tie an Inquisitors boot laces together and then run away giggling. (Instead you should run away fearing redemption). 220.Thou shalt not utilise the highly sophisticated, advanced and expensive long range communications array to make prank phone calls to the local bar and ask for a "Mr I.P. 221.thou shall not take the emporor out walking 222.thoough sahall not atempt to be friends with tyranids 223.do not "Borow" the land raiders to race them then when they come back wrecked blame it on chaos 224.thou shalt not write clean me on a catachan chimera 225.Thou shalt not fry ants with the meltagun 226.Thou shalt not fill the back of the missle launcher with promethium to "see what happens" 227.Thou shalt not paint "beware of dog" on the wolf lord's armour 228.Thou shalt not play pin the tail on the donkey with the rough rider's horses 229Thou shalt not date deamonettes or other followers of Slaanesh, no matter how tempting the concept may be. 230.thy shall not blame the chapel heating for falling asleep during prayer 231.thy shall not paint 2 blue stripes down the middle of a rhino and call it a 'viper' variant 232.the Tau are not 'noobs' 233.thy shall not refer to assualt marines as 'tooled up pretty boys' 234.the ultramarines do have a sense of humour 235.thy shall not use the land raider for off road races 236.Thou shalt not give maacures to lightning claws 237.Thou shalt not procur noisemarine weapons for thine garage band 238.Thou shalt not comment on the temperature around thine brethren, yon salamanders 239.Thou shalt be punished for speaking the blaspemous "argh matey" around thine chapter master with the bionic leg 240.Thou shalt not offer to "pump you up" to Imp guardsmen
In fealty of the God-Emperor, our undying lord, and by the grace of the Golden Throne I declare Exterminatus on the heretical world of Equestria I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world, and consign a million souls to oblivion May Imperial justice account in all balance. The Emperor protects.
The thing we all love. (Don't get all weaboo and angry at me for not saying psychic stuff, because Tau don't have psykers, so there)
