Oh I speak four languages and for some time in my life my sustain was to teach them... It's my joy to learn new languages - make them my own.
That was enjoyable. Your marines talk like guardsmen. That is my main gripe immediately after reading your writing.
Hmm. I have another tale that came out after facing-off with one of my best friends - he's a Marine, through and through. I'll see if I can post it here and see if you like their vocabulary this time.
The night was absolute and freezing in the Exodite world of Arché. They say, that only the most talented local seers could survive outdoors past summer in that planet without cold-resistant gear, for their bodies were trained to lock heat within them – and though the armour they wore so gallantly regulated their temperature, the Aspect Warriors of craftworld Anamnialoc felt the ire of Isha as they advanced through the violet-tainted woods, masking the sound of their footing with the rustling of leaves. The mon-keigh had decided to mount a counter-offensive in the middle of a valley after being hunted throughout the planet like Eldanesh was by Khaine. They ignored that such a place would be their graveyard, they ignored that what little resistance they could offer would be their final stand. “It is time.” A deep voice broke the silence, though the words were only heard inside each Aspect's mind. A heartbeat after, fire lit the tomb-machine that was the pillar of the Space Marines' formation – deadly wounded by the touch of an elegant Bright Lance. The silver-armoured Astartes broke left and right, with discipline and fervour, to avoid being pinned down. Their bolters fired at the distant violet of trees as their leaders demanded a target from their reckons - yet the scouts were still and silent, lost inside the dream from which there was no return. The Space Marines and their transports scattered to avoid the massive amount of fire power that suddenly rained upon their adamantium shells - though unfortunately for them, the Children of the Stars already knew they would break formations, and had been waiting for them to make that same exact move. Striking Scorpions came out from under the snow and Howling Banshees charged from the tree-line, hesitating naught to charge against the isolated groups of biologically-enhanced humans. The first Space Marine got a chance to sway his chainsword once, then twice, but then his arm was rendered useless by the perfectly executed cut of one of the Scorpions – right between the armour joints of the Astartes' armpit. Another Scorpion drove her own chainsword under his head, severing it from it's body. The well-thought counter-fire downed two Eldar Aspects before the shots of a distant shrine of Dark Reapers blew to pieces the cumbersome heavy weapon carriers of the Astartes and Dire Avengers began their sweeping advance, firing relentlessly and remorselessly their bloody bladestorm. Back to back, the few remaining Marines gathered around their wounded leader. “We need our reserves – now!” Barked the elder Marine through his own bloody earpiece, but only white noise answered. Another of his warriors fell, red blood splattered in contrast to the white pure snow. “Do not despair, brothers! Reinforcements are under way”, he lied. But his hopes became reality when he heard that familiar roar of Imperial engines and felt the threading of Land Raiders shake the ground. The tree line that separated them from their encampment shook and cracked violently. “They're here! Steady now, Marines!” But the hope of the ceramite warriors was crushed within their silver chests, as they saw the entire formation of Land Raiders storming towards them... All set in flames. There was a terrible monster towering behind them with a sword of pure fire and a hand dripping blood. “Impossible...” One by one the last remaining bolters were silenced, until the violet woods were peaceful once again – interrupted only by the echoing laughter of the god of war himself...
Im not particuarly fond of the Eldar, they are too high and mighty for my taste. But nonetheless I like what you write. Congratulations, keep them coming if you please!
A wonderful work sister, your words ring true as you speak of the Mon'Keigh and how truly weak they are. Hiding behind their armor beleaving in some corpse that they have turned into a false god. All while seeking to put an end to our noble race just because we are different from them in ways they can not understand and so they fear us. In truth it is not the Eldar they should fear it is the fury of the Bloody Handed one who stirs our hearts to war and allows us to defend our people. May the battle hymns of Kaela Mensha Khaine echo threw-out the galaxy and those who would try and destroy our people will know of the fury the Eldar bring before their end.
