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"The War on Arkhona" A book from the Black Knight library

Discussion in 'Fan Art, Cosplay, & Fiction' started by Vaanes, Jan 26, 2017.

  1. Chapter 5 An introduction to Systems

    Deep within the vast complex of somewhat finished wasted space, scrapped good ideas, unbalanced architecture, and never to be realized potential that Warmaster Nathan Au Revoir had built on since first landing on Arkhona (and ruining everything he set his gaze upon) lay the great halls of greed. The great halls of greed were the single greatest work of artifice on the planet, great works of art and tapestries hung from the ceilings far above, while far below 6 menials and laborers vacationed day and night. Originally there were many more laborers and menials. These poor barely paid fools had worked so hard to build the mostly finished halls! Alas they had been poorly managed and dismally funded by an inferior contractor, so the laborers and menials ended up putting in so much overtime to fix the mistakes they made in the great hall's initial construction that eventually the contractor, "bElieveus", realized that it owed them some days off. The warmaster asked the contractor if he could just kill the laborers and save everyone the trouble, but the head contractor was on vacation with his head up his arse when the warmaster asked, so no one got the message. And so the contractor fired many, but kept a chosen few to remain to work on the halls. However, those that had not been outright fired for their bungling were now no longer able to work on the great hall at all because... vacation!

    First Chaplain Ash'Eru of the Income Bearers stood in the halls now, he slumped against a poorly textured imperial pillar that clipped into the ground beside the great money pit in despair. The money pit spanned 50 meters! It was a huge pit of money! However, the money flowing into the pit had slowed to a trickle. It would not be enough to create the new gods of money to restore Arkhona to it's former glory. Hardly anything floated to the surface of the money pit these days. It was rumored that the warmaster himself, Nathan Au Revoir, had gotten drunk one night and took a shit in it. Now nothing but space marine crap ever floated to the surface every once in a while, and the whole place smelled aweful. The salt gods had won yet again. Ash'Eru's twin hearts sank as these thoughts swam through his mind, the taste of player tears now growing stale in his throat. He stepped over a man eating some fermented shark and walked by a woman standing in a bathtub wearing a dress taking pictures of herself.

    "This is how these people vacation?," The first chaplain thought to himself.

    The first chaplain was about to turn and walk away when he saw the warmaster making his way toward him. Ash'Eru felt that warmaster Nathan Au Revoir had failed him and the rest of the assembled forces of Chaos on Arkhona. There would be no second crusade, and the one they had now was only about 67 percent of a crusade anyway, they might as well call it eterna crusa, because that was apparently good enough to sell.

    There were rumors that the warmaster served a different dark power now, one that had been born in the twisted realm of Canayduh. This dark master was said to speak in a dangerously fruity language that was rooted in pure chaos. It was only spoken in a small part of Canayduh called Montreballs. Montreballs sat in the valley of Gaybec. It was the deepest darkest part of Canayduh. There was a fortess there that this entity supposedly resided in, the address you ask? Well, it's 666 We're all saints here street. The warmaster had virtually moved in to this ominous fortress some time ago, and now all he talked about was "systems" when he wasn't making terrible condescending jokes about the rest of us idiots.

    As the warmaster approached he skipped the formality of a hello, "We are going to give the people of Arkhona exactlly what they want! We will give them systems!"

    "Sir," replied the first chaplain. "The people of arkhona say they want content, not systems."

    "Well damn them! My dark masters aren't giving me enough allowance to spend making content. They just want to watch the world die! and so do I!," the warmaster explained.

    The first chaplain of the Income bearers wanted to change the subject,"Sir, how is the Eldar campaign going," asked Ash'Eru.

    "Oh you don't have to worry about the eldar campaign silly," chuckled Au Revoir.

    "Why," Ash'Eru looked puzzled.

    "Because it's not going anywhere, I won't ever say anything about it ever again and the people of Arkhona will eventually forget I promised them anything. We can put the half finished stuff in a half finished room in the complex somewhere. I will just promise them something else to distract them for a while," mused the warmaster.

    The first chaplain frowned, but had no time to ponder this more because he suddenly noticed an entire squad of space marines were falling through the carefully constructed half finished halls!
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