Bossus Genericus sat upon his magnificent throne,made of the skulls of his enemies,contemplating the interior of his battle barge's custom main chamber.
He was bored.
Shitless.
So,as he stood up,gazing upon the flesh draped walls of his pimped battle barge's main chamber,he decided he needed an entretainment.
He would assemble a squad of people to go do stuff until he was satisfied.
"Brother Isatechmarine,activate the roulette teleportarium"
"As you wish,so shall it be so"

And with a rumbling sound of bolts,elecriticty,and a 30 second loop of a dark age relic named Epic Sax Guy,the roulette teleportarium got to work.
Work that consisted on picking random people(if possible) from the know galaxy(hopefully),and bringing them safelly(ya git,where is me arm?) inside the glorious,blood river decorated Exclusive Battle Barge.

OOC:I seriously doubt anyone really wants to play along,but if you do so,here are the rules:

You need to make a rp character,as unserious as possible,custom chapters allowed and expected.All the races are welcome.Your character needs to follow this form.

Name
Race/Faction
Chapter/Craftworld/Etc...
Traits(as many as you like,go crazy)
Flaws(as many as you like,but at least 2)

SPOILERS,for people who want a quick resume of the events before/instead of reading the whole thread.
Mission 1 is a success(or so Bossus thinks)
Member Status:
Kyle,Zen Zerker-Spared his target in Exchange for servitude to Khorne,Bossus is unaware
Mukk'dun,toilet humor-Just took a shit on the roman government
Deadpool,Deathstroke ripoff(kidding)-Inner dialogue
Mike,2lazy4u-???
Zachary,Heretek/Gollum-Brought shinies from a roman palace
Maxis,the party's thief-Claimed a bunch of humans in the name of the chapter.
Delta,Dalek-Has a new pet.Turns out he exterminated the would be pet.
Rayya,Attracted to Mon'keigh-new arrival.

Mission 2 was sucessfull,for about a minute.
Member status:
Kyle,Zen Zerker-Became the leader of an Ork mob,thanks to Delta,might be unaware of that fact.
Mukk'dun,toilet humor-Unwillingly attracted the attention of the Inquisition,left to the warp after the threat of impending Exterminatus.
Deadpool,Deathstroke ripoff(kidding)-Learned to fly.
Mike,2lazy4u-???
Zachary,Heretek/Gollum-Reacted suprisingly well to being sat on by a Great Unlean One.
Maxis,the party's thief-Displayed equal amounts of combat prowess and heresy.
Delta,Dalek-Fused himself with a Necron Tomb World,absorbed the energy of an Exterminatus Fleet and teleported the planet into the 100 millenia,continuity 3.
Rayya,Attracted to Mon'keigh-Getting way too close to Maxis.
Da Tele-Boy,walking TV-Discovered by the team.

Mission 3-Underway.
Member status:
Mukk'dun,toilet humor-Honoring Nurgle by being a couch potato.
Maxis,the party's thief-Having some fun with a given(really) Flamer
Delta,Dalek-Attacked an entire planet with a COD-Styled montage,complete with "music".Also killed a war hero.
Skaren,the classic drunken,beard possesed Astartes-Touched sasha a modified plasma gun.Shit happened.
Biggus Dickus,you guessed it,its an Angry Marine.-Not much.

OOC: Finally! LET'S GO!

Name: Kyle the Misunderstood Khornate Beserker
Race Faction: Chaos Space Marine
Chapter: World Eaters
Traits:

Rational: absolutely rational considering he's a Khorne Beserker, which allows Kyle to get as angry as a normal Khorne Beserker, but can hold a pretty decent conversation if the other party is chill enough.

Chaos Undivided: Kyle's really friendly with other chaos forces, even when they don't actually feel the same way about him. This allows him to talk and interact in an non killing fashion ("but what's the point of not killing them?" -Fellow World Eaters) with other chaos units without offending Khorne or any of the other chaos gods.

Champion of Breakfast: Kyle has a deep (and true!) conviction that the surest way to worship Khorne, outside of mindless slaughter, is to make sure each day of mindless slaughter begins with a healthy and balance breakfast, centered around a bowl of Khorne Flakes. Therefore Kyle always has some cereal with him as well as milk and spoon; he uses the skulls of dead people as bowls.

Dated a Slannesh Witch/Worshipper/now Daemonette before: Just because.

Flaws:

Malfunctioning Butcher's Nails: Due to an unfortunate incident (or fortunate, depending on how you see it), the Butcher's Nails implant in Kyle's head short circulated upon insertion, rendering it useless. As a result Kyle have to actively get himself angry, something that actually pleases Khorne more but doesn't win any points with his fellow World Eaters. Especially Angron.

Really passionate about breakfast: Kyle's passion about Khorne Flakes can annoy others who doesn't view the importance of the cereal the same way, even among Angron's Legion. Also, if Kyle doesn't start the day with a bowl of Khorne Flakes, his combat capability goes down, as he doesn't seem to be able to get as angry as he has the potential to be. Also Kyle hates anyone who doesn't drink whole milk or chocolate milk (or blood), seeing any who ask for skim and 1-2% as (like the orks calls them) "pansys."

Equipment: standard with Khornate Berserkers, just with the breakfast stuff.

Name: Mukk'dun
Race/Faction: Greater Daemon / Nurgle
Chapter/Craftworld/Etc...: Death Guard
Traits(as many as you like,go crazy):

- Sprays green gloop, which makes anything it touches adore toilets.
- Can Travel through the warp when it feels like it.
- Has chronic Diarrhea. (When you're nurgle, its a perk).
- Eats Underwear.
- Can produce a wail at a frequency which allows any nearby humanoid to soil themselves.

Flaws(as many as you like,but at least 2)

- Bleach is like Acid.
- Is blinded by the colour pink.
- Can be sent back to the warp, using any blessed object of toiletry (eg, Toilet Brush, Toothbrush, Sponge).

Alright, since everything so far in the RP forum was way to serious for this char to finally emerge, I will go with him here and see how other people react to him. Every similarity to any famous (real) person is completely intended.

Name: Wade Wilson aka DP

Race Faction: Space Marine(?)

Chapter: Unknown

Traits:

Regenerative healing factor: Wade has a superhuman regenerative factor that allows him survive in this cruel modern society. He is able to heal from injuries such as slashes, puncture wounds, bullet wounds, beheading, and severe burns within moments. His head or any other limb can be reattached using this ability, but has to be placed in the proper place.

Telepathic immunity: The healing factor causes his brain cells to be in a constant state of flux and regeneration, rendering him immune to psychics. Other psykers can however read his mind, but none can make much sense of the chaos inside of his brain.

Unpredictability: It is difficult for anyone to know what Wade will do at any given moment, given that he himself barely knows what he'll do at any given moment. This makes it difficult for most opponents to predict what he will do.

Master martial artist: Wade is an extraordinary hand-to-hand combatant and is a master in multiple unarmed combat techniques. He is one of the most skilled fighters in the known universe, although in some fights it has been attributed to him being unpredictable because of his insanity.

Flaws:

Mental state: His healing abilities render his brain unreadable to telepaths and psykers, but its constant healing also makes him highly unstable and prone to violent outbursts without the slightest provocation, at least against those he knows could handle. His healing factor also made him develop a special condition of Dissociative identity disorder (previously known as multiple personality disorder (MPD)) - he has more than one voice in his head telling him what to do.

Annoying: Wade's mental state has also proven to make him a very irritating person to be around with other people. Many of his comrades often find themselves at wits' end around him; this makes for poor ability to cooperate with him in team efforts.

Loves a good Chimichanga: His love for this deep fried burito can make him instantly forget about what was doing and make him enter a come-like state where he dreams of whole fields of Chimichangas, just waiting to be eaten.

Ugly like hell: His healing factor deformed his skin, which is completely wrinkled and ugly to look at, like a Shar Pei dog.

Bovinophobia: Wade is afraid of cows - According to him, cows "scare the shit outta" him, as he believes their stare to be chilling, like they're "waiting".

Can't get drunk: His healing factor prevents him from getting drunk, no matter how much he drinks (yes this is a flaw).

Blunt Gillette: He sucks at shaving, although it's understandable, considering that it's been a while since he had facial hair to shave.

Bossus Genericus emerged from his meditations,which mostly involved a very vivid and recurrent dream of a mere imperial guardsman standing up to him,taunting,daring him.And yet everytime he struck him down,another figure came from the shadows and felled him with an attack he could never parry.He really needed to cut down the "spicy" on his Kroot Legs.

The roulette teleportarium had already brought two suitable pawns.
Bossus had already arranged for a masive shipment of Khorne Flakes and milk to be supplied to his battle Barge,in order to keep Kyle happy.
The underwear required to feed Mukk'dun were proving hard to obtain,as nobody in the Eye of Terror seemed to wear one.
As such,he decided that the first assignement of his strike force would be a raid on a loyalist world,with the goal of aquiring as many panties as Mukk'dun would eat during a milenia.
Now he just needed to decide if his strike force was large enough for such a glorious feat,or if they would stay in their stasis fields for a little more.
He decided he would wait for a little more,if the roulette teleportarium failed to bring more subjects,these wold have to do.

Edit:Holy shit its Deadpool.

Kyle was happily eating breakfast on board the Conqueror, who was on the way to assist Abaddon with his silly crusades again, when a flash of energy wrapped itself around him. Oh not again, he thought as he was transported to Bossus Genericus's presence. Kyle thought if this was those damned thousand sons playing a prank on him again, this time he'll do more than just rip off the responsible sorceror's arms. Finding himself in a strange battle barge in front of an even stranger astartes.

Unlike many of his legion brothers, Kyle did not immediately pick up his dual chainaxes and rushed the astartes, though he thought about it. Then he decided to remain civil and to possibly convert another to the great reign of Khorne. Turning to Bossus, he holds up an extra skull from his belt and asks, "Would you care for a bowl of Khorne Flakes? Nothing quite like it to start your day of endless slaughter off properly." He Khorne Beserker said with a smile on his actually not that scarred up face.

The greater demon yawned, as a nurgling escaped out of his maw. Blinking lazily, Mukk'Dun picked up the little nurgling, and lobbed him back inside his mouth, where-upon he licked his cracked lips lusciously. With a crooked hand, the demon began to scratch his rear, until a low rumble began to stir within his bowl. No sooner than he had heard the noise, did it finally erupt out of him, his face contorted with focus & joy.

The demon propped himself up, as the last drops of brown slopped from his scaly hide.

With a few final stretches, Mukk'Dun waited in a seemingly open plane within the warp, hoping that some chaos cultist would hurry up and sacrifice themselves, so he could step through, and give some imperium or xenos a very brown welcome.

Bossus smirked,as he felt his soon to be pawns eager for an exchange of services.

He clapped his massive hands,attracitng the attention of his slaves.
"What are you waiting for?Get to work"
Upon hearing such dreadfull words,the cultists felt an unconquerable desire to rip their own entrails off,whih they did with great dispatch and joy.
"Come Daemon of Nurgle,and you shall have more panties than a Pretty Marine in a Sisters of Battle monastery."

As he waited for the daemonic answer,he turned to adress Kyle,and his offer of delicious Khorne Flakes,now on sale at your nearest Hive World.
"With great pleasure,Kyle,isnt it?I trust you brought chocolate milk?What if i were to offer you the possibility of an endless supply of this breakefasts you so crave?I trust that you are interested?"


Without wating for an answer,Bossus turned a third time,to face upon Deadpool.
Bossus had absolutelly no idea how to convince Wade to join his cause,as he doubted Wilson would just cooperate in exchange of Chimichangas instead of just killing him for them.
He sighed,it was time to bring the heavy weapons.
"Mister Wade"-He wispered-"This is a roleplay,as i am sure you are aware,and your player must want you to join my strike force,or he would not have joined it.You dont want to disapoint your player right?"

OOC.Damnit Jester,i never said Bossus was an Astartes .Though,he may just look like one.

OOC: Sorry, needed to address him somehow. So... what's he then? XD


"Of course," Kyle said happily, filling the spare skull with Khorne Flakes, then adding chocolate milk from a carton in his backpack and with a silver shiny spoon, passes the completed breakfast to Bossus. "I already have an endless supply of Khorne Flakes, but if you're offering a chance for me to kill and/or convert more to the cause of Khorne, then I'm listening. Great, now I sound like one of Lorgar's lackies." The Khorne Beserker sighed then turned back to his own bowl, finishing its content with one big gulp, "Now I'm ready for a day of service to Khorne!" The Khorne Beserker smiled happily.

OOC:What Bossus Genericus is is a mistery i will save for later.His real name isnt even that one.Anyways,goin away for the night,but dont worry,i have no intention of letting this die.