Your imperium is a dying parasite that has drained humanity of its strength for too long and now it is time for man to rise up to be free and strong again for so long as you stop humanity from using its greatest gift you leave mankind weak but I will not bow before you or anyone

The Empire is the parasite. Thats a new one lol

*crawls out from a pile of junk lying around, camouflaged and a crocodile dundee hat ontop of his helmet, a camerateam of servitors closely behind him*

Ah, it would seem we stumbled upon one of natures hidden treasures once again - two alpha males contesting for territory and proving their rank in the herd.
It is a delicate ritual and follows strict rules, for instance you would rarely see them actually wound themselves. It is more of a dance around each other, while making loud and fearsome noises, trying to convince the rival of their dominance. If you look closely, you can even see parts of their bodies swelling, as they divert blood from their brain region...- SHH! Alright, don't move now, I think they have seen us. Just pretend to be a piece of junk, that should do the trick. Dave? Do you have a good view on them?

Although true.

The Imperium leeches of the lives willingly or non willingly given to them by their subjects. Humanity by this point is pretty much doomed. The 13th Black Crusade is beginning to break through the Cadain Gate, Leviathan is making a beeline for Terra and your Golden Throne is failing.

Anyone who says the Imperium is winning is as blind as those who believe the Emperor was God.

Not alpha males, just a loyalist and a heretic (soviatus) having a constructive argument.

Alright Dave, back off slowly! One of them is coming closer making noises towards us. Just keep calm, all is going to be just okay.

*unsheathes his pistol, starts shooting at Dave*

Yes, we are losing, but that doesn't mean that we should go down without fighting .
P.S Never rely on speh marines to save the world

*light lo stick. Taps information into holopad.*

NO! DAVE! Okay Dave, no sudden movements. If he hits you, just pretend to be dead! Most of the times they let go after one hit.
The weapon they use can be extremely painful, eventually even leading to death if they manage to hit you in the right spot, just take care to avoid it in a confrontation. A ordinary stick can be life saving in a situation like this.

*approaches Rumeni with a stick, trying to push his arm with the pistol away from dave*