*you pull out a squig. a rare multi colored squig easily worth more than your ugly face. The squig however looks up at you with intelligent, hate filled eyes*

*sees you and my pupils dilate to tiny pinholes*
hey there fuckboi...
wanna piece of my mind?

WULD YOUZE LOIK SUM SQUIGZMIS SPIRIT MUTHAFUKKA?!

*tosses a gift at you wrapped in paper with little kittens on it.*

*freezes*
*has no idea how to react to being given a gift*

opeeeeenn iitttttt

m-my father never gave me gifts...
*sinks down onto the floor and begins rocking back and forth whilst staring straight at the wall*

*Eyes go wide*
AWW A PUPPY! *grabs and hugs squig as it angerly begins to knaw on armor*

I will love him, and hug him, and squeeze him and and pet him and name him....hmmm what should I name him?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4

hiz name iz groble dornk the evermore, hiz spore grew out ova mass grave left behind by a kaosh warband. Da headless korpses ov a thousand forge wurlds fed hiz growth. Da restless spirits ov da damned enhance hiz mind and soul.

have fun!

an dun botha tryin ta kill him, i'z tried alreddy. threw da sukka inta a dyin star on me way here an he jest ended up on me ship again....
*squig stops biting you and begins staring at you again*

*scoots you next to the gift again*

stop snivilin an OPEN DA BLUDDY GIFT I'Z SPENT MONEY ON DEZE FINGZ YA KNOW

cept fer da cursed squig

*opens it very carefully*
making sure not to damage whatever it is that is inside*

*is a festive elf hat complete with fake elf ears*

hrm..about da earz uh..