Behold, The great beast has come! The destroyer of verisimilitude. Wiki^ We dont summon him....at all, he is like Doom Rider but worse because like a dubble edged sword, once summoned the summoner and his kin might get nerfed, and the enemy might dissappear. The risks are to great.
Matt Ward and warhammer are kind of synonymous so it will only be a matter of time before he arrives.
He is the great beast, none controls the beast none can reason with the beast, the beast does as it pleases.
1. First thou shalt create a pentagram, whose very lines shall consist of Ultramarine miniature of no less than 2000 $ in price. At each corner, thou shalst place a miniature of Kaldor Draigo, painted from toe to head in ultramarine blue. At the center of the circle, place a Dreadknight, also covered in blue. (Alternatively, HE also accepts three Tau Mantas ordered around the circle. Guess of whych color they must be.) 2. Then thou shalt buy one Codex: Space Marines (buying two will increase the likelihood of HIS appearance). In order for thy ritual to be succesffyl, thou must also color any and all space marine decipted in the Codex in Ultramarine Blue. 3. If you hadst done the previous steps, place the Codex in front of thy summoning circle and fill the inner area of the circle with pages ripped from grimoires written by C.S. Goto, Ward's infernal secretary. 4. Now set these pages aflame, that the vapor of their foul ink may open a portal to the very depths of hell itself. 5. As the portal opens, take a miniature of an Avatar of Khaine, break it in half and chant: "egeil lautirips ym, ecnadiug rouy rof sksa yobnaf eniramartlu elbmuh a'!" You shall chant this three times, and three times only. You shall not chant this once , neither shall you chant it but twice. Four is -right- out. 6. If the stars stand right, HE will now appear in the middle of the circle, hopefully bound by your sufficient monetary offerings to HIS warriors. He will wear and gentle smile, but do not be fooled, for behind his pearly white teeth lies the maw of madness. 7. You may then ask HIM for new crunch for your most beloved Space Marine Chapter. But you shalt not ask him for fluff, nor for a new Chaos Daemons Codex, for then he will burn your body and consume your soul. Aaaand next week in Warhammer Occultism: How to Summon Cruddace!
I find it oddly disturbing that someone who is hated so much by the fan base, and who appears to ruin everything he touches keeps his job. Like honestly why from a marketing perspective would you keep someone on the pay role as a writer of codex content if as soon as their name is heard everyone automatically knows the codex will be broken.
