OOC: Warning for those who violently dislike lore break: Turn the hell away we're getting into ridiculous territory and this Rp is implicitly meant to be such~ For the rest, well enjoy.

Sitting somewhere deep within the upper spires of Commoragh Asdrubael Vect sends out his agents to find him a new cast for what he intends to be the greatest entertainment of all time. A show to rival all shows! Some new great epic to regale the future with besides the same old stale tales of The Fall.

All he needed was a cast.......

Greymon walked upon the glorious stage, emerging from a laser show and fog throwers! It was glorious when the drums started beating and the Ork-Guitars roared in Waaaagh-Metal! Dark Eldar girls emitting from platforms, presented on the stage as they lured their viewers with their exotic dances.

Their showaAnnouncing surprisingly a Tau as the silhouette within the shadows resembled a XV-8 Crisis Suit. But once an uber-sized fan blew the fog away (along with the girls), claws became visible! A chitin covered head! A VENOM CANNON!

Then a high-pitch screech! The talons swinging around, the Venom Cannon shooting into the audience, melting at least one unlucky Kaballite Warrior. It screeched again and then made a show-off position. Surprisingly the Crisis Suit was quite in a good condition.

Then a fancy LED screen with a zoom-in of the face of the glorious 'Tyrau' showing:

IRONMAN! ​

GREYMON!​

Name: Brosef Stalin

Race: Brodeptus Astartes (human, Tau Vassal)

Faction: The Chugileers

Equipment: Crisis Battlesuit



Brosef awoke in a half daze, his vision a blur, feeling cold air on his exposed torso. He shifted his pose, discovering himself to be lying on the floor in a pool of his own vomit, naked, with has hands tied behind his back, not altogether unusual for a Friday afternoon. He groped his hands lower, finding his posterior unabashed from the nights mysteries and letting out an audible sigh of relief.

-Maxis
Maxis was sitting down by a pond with most of his equipment on A harpoon in one hand and in the other a book. His mind was caught on many things. Relics to hunt. Various ways to gain knowledge from xenos. He knew he had owed that banshee friend of his Something and would have to repay her somehow that and that nice inquisitor and space wolf fellow from pulling him out of that dimensional accident. his head still ached a bit from getting a arrow inserted into his skull. It was a good thing he pulled it out. But he knew he had to find a way to Recover relics for the chapter again besides he missed having company. He threw his harpoon into the pond. "You need to slay the xeno burn the heretic and destroy The mutant MAXIS."

the voice in maxis head spoke out again. It had been doing this ever since he got hit in the head. "be quite all you ever want to do is purge we need to balance our daily purging for the emperor and recovering relics for him." he said as he began to pull on his harpoon he felt something tug and soon began tugging back. He grabbed his backpack and held on tight His various things in his journal were all kept to his side. All the pictures of his allies banshee, space wolf, and weird things hes seen was on him. "now I've got something to ea-" was the last things he said before the space marine was pulled into the pond. He began to fight with all his might as he saw the creature. IT was a FUCKING SHARK not a reguler shark but A shark on Steroids. "Uh ho" maxis said as he activated his teleporter pack. Soon enough

He was again being thrown through the warp the only thing protecting him was his armor, faith, and teleporter pack. "hmmm looks like nurgles having a field day somewhere," maxis said as his broken mind traveled through the warp. Soon enough landing in its location A odd dark palace in a throne room of a very terrifying looking dark eldar and a tyranids with a Xv suit. wait that isn't any dark eldar Thats Vect. Now we are doomed Great work idiot. The voice in maxis head spoke to him.

Sivius looked at the man he was playing poker with he gave a wicked grin and played his royal flush, the man insulted him so he blew his head off with his blast pistol. Sivius floated off to his desk and continued his research of the female Space Marine

Name: Jim "Bad Luck" Brian

Race: KAOS SPEHS MEHREEN

Faction: Adeptus Incompetantus

Equipment:
Power Sword (Batteries NOT included)
Bolter (No ammo)
Power Armor
A single krak grenade


Jim found himself in yet another case of "Fucked beyond belief". The gods must be truly doubling over in laughter this time. In Commorragh, surrounded by the capricious Eldar, having, by some mix up with the Intergalactic Postal Service (He certainly would have remembered signing up for this...), been essentially forced into some sort of KabalVision show (the content of which he had no real idea, but, this being the Dark City, would no doubt be of dubious intellectual, spiritual or moral value). All he could do was tap his foot nervously back stage and hope he didn't embarass the Iron Lord too much.

<Maxis>
Before a word could be said the Blood Raven was hauled away and chucked into the auditions line with the rest. He overheard a few of the other colorful cast to be chattering about relic hunting.

<Jim>
"NEXT!" The Astartes was made privy to the sight of an Ork making a looted Carnifex jump through a hoop of fire a few dozen sizes too small get ripped apart by his beast and then said carnifex rampaging through the crowd, none of the guards seemed to care either. "OIY MON'KEIGH I SAID NEXT!" A large spiked cane dug into his leg and dragged him out onto the stage, a panel of three judges leaning in looking quite unimpressed.

"ASGUDCOEAHFPEAIDHJIK!" Jim yelled in pain, sliding across the stage via the hook, gripping his useless weapons for reasons beyond him. He stood up, staring out into the boisterous crowd. He saw the lights, and the stage, and the people. A light bulb lit up above his head, and he now knew what he was supposed to do.

Speaking into the microphone, the son of Olympia growled, "This one goes out to all the ladies... *ahem*

"We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy!

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understaaaaaaaaaaaand

Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you!
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye!
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"

Brosef struggled to make sense of his predicament, last he recalled he had been where he always went on days that ended in y, the bar. He had remembered a tall female, pointy eared and covered in tattoos. It had seemed to be going well, despite his beer pong mishap having collapsed the liquor shelf. It could have been the barkeep, holding him in the basement again until his next paycheck. But that couldn't be it, he was paid on Thursdays, and he spent more money at that place than the building was worth.

Pushing that aside, he new he needed to free himself. His whistle through parched lips echoed through the hallways was met by a booming bark. Good.

His companion dropped in from the vents, a fearsome beast of Terran legend, his trusted Pugapoo Brutus, Bane of Nations, had arrived. Using its sawlike teeth the beast chewed through his restraints with ease and Brosef was free to find the answers to his looming questions.

Just where the hell could he get a 7 up and a cheeseburger.

<Jim>
Slaanesh whom already had His/Her/Its eyes cast upon the Dark City for the feast of souls presented on a secondly basis took great pleasure from the sheer amount of ear violating awful that was to be had and with but a simple gesture Jim was granted a new voice, one of such alluring magnitude that he was all but guaranteed a spot on the show. As a cherry on top Slaanesh opened up a warp portal out into the tides of the immaterium and deep within the Basillica of Torments the glorious singing voice of the renegade reached a special someone. "S--S-SIIIIIIIIIIINDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Such a pained cry echoed through the halls, such excessive torment was so very delightful.

"You're in. " Was all that the center most Eldar could say before waving him off to the side to join several other accepted applicants. "NEXT!" All eyes were on Maxis.