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ELDUUUHHHHHRRRR OOOPPPPPP

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Data8671, Dec 30, 2018.

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  1. Nerfff elddaaarrrrr they are OOOPPPPPP
    They are reason game is dead they are OOPPPPP
    Once an Eldar killed me from a roof and I couldn't shoot back therefore swooping pigeons are OP plz nerf
    How come they can insta kill tanks bit I've else can and you can't defend against them

    How to balance? Remove swooping hawk grenades and change them to just lock the steering instead do they can only go straight. This is definitely much balance and solves the annoying hawks. For fire dragons make it so that they can't go in transports therefore they can't chase down enemy transports all game. Also nerf Eldar vehicles so that they are not faster than all the other vehicles in the game anymore which is why they are OOOPPPPPP

    Also the ttk in Eldar matches is far too short so all Eldar should have slower firing weapons with more spread but more damage per shot. They should also have more armour and health to bring them in line with other factions. Kind of a buff but it would fix the low ttk. And also make their hotboxes bigger so they are easier to hit because they are far too difficult to hit.
    Or simply remove them from the game.....
    Or even more simply remove the plug from the servers for the game.....
    DrMauf likes this.
  2. Catnium Catnium Well-Known Member

  3. you cant match Iratus in level of ignorance and selfconfidence
    Firskon likes this.
  4. Mauf DrMauf Subordinate

    Hey Hey Hey, let's take this one in and savour it for it a bit.

    [​IMG]

    That's a classic opening. Very good. The swooping hawk portion is a bit too obvious but it serves its purpose. To be more believeable, add a bit more detail with accompanying frothing at the mouth from your part. That improves believability. "Swooping pidgeons" is good, ridicule to deminish the object of the rant is good style. The silliness factor could be improved by adding a few more true facts, like a rant about their haywire grenades or the double melta bomb. By wrapping the stinking obviously wrong turd into a thin layer of truth makes it so much better. Also very nice T-T-Topic switch of hawks sniping with the personal relation and dragons destroying vehicles. That's very good angry rambling. Strong start there.

    Ahh... niiiice. Remove grenades AND lock their steering. The classic bathwater+baby approach. And that dragon nerf. Huu, that's a nice one. Did we actually have the "make them unable to enter vehicles" version somewhere on the forums before? Can't remember that so if not, that sir, is a VERY nice fresh Elder OP nerf. Strong finish on the vehicle speed with another demonstrably wrong claim. Going strong there son!

    You must have done your homework because that is another Eldar OP rant technique! A mixed non-sequitur with TTK being too short (that one is so classic it's brilliant. You deserve a medal for pulling that one out) and the "turd garnished with a cherry" (nerf nerf + one buff) for the weapon rebalancing. All this leading into a "make them more like Space marines". Very nice.

    And this is where you dropped the ball sadly. You were going VERY strong in your genuine Eldar OP ranting until this point. The hitbox size (nice typoing btw) rant needed more wild claims like "It's impossible to hit them when latency and online play comes into play! Not to mention ADAD which they ALL do, the cheaters!" just to make it more believable. The "simply remove them from the game" is misplaced here. That can be used but it doesn't mix well with all the contrived "balancing" stuff you posted earlier. It fits better in the less diplomatic "KILL THEM ALL" rants. Kinda like this (replace communists with Eldar):

    but then you have to be 100% nondiplomatic about it. Same goes for the "pull the plug"". That one only works if you wallowed in enough self-pity about how badly the mean Eldar touched you. It fits in the emotional rants, not the balancing/discussion ones.

    All in all, I really liked this one. It had many classical components + a potentially new one (either slipped my mind or missed it). The ending flourish was the wrong rant style though.

    All in all, this is a good 7/10 (make it 8/10 if the Dragon nerf is truly unique). Hints for the future: Decide more clearly on a discussion/balancing rant or an emotional one. Blatant typos and outlandish claims fit better to the emotional style (as they really convey the image of the frothing berserker smashing on his keyboard) while contrived reasoning and non-sequiturs go well with the discussion one.

    As Faeruin mentioned, Iratus was a great Elder OP rant poster and probably wrote the book on how to Eldar OP rant:)
    Data8671 likes this.
  5. Advice taken into consideration. New thread incoming ETA: IDK sometime this week maybe
  6. Leroy Twizzlers DemonKingBAAL Steam Early Access

    so this is what the forums has come to, what a shame. back in my day we had true saltlords
  7. ANGRY MARINE ANGRY-MARINE Well-Known Member

    YOU WANT SOME MOTHERFUCKIN' SALT? BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR ILLITERATE ASSES.

    MY ASS COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT FOR LESS THAN A WEEK AND LET ME TELL YOU SOME OF THE SHIT I'VE WITNESSED IN THIS GLORIFIED LIFE SUPPORT SIMULATOR OF A GAME THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY.
    AND IT IRRITATES ME ON A LEVEL I HAD NOT ONCE THOUGHT POSSIBLE. I USED TO PUT UP WITH SOME SHIT IN THE ALPHA THAT MADE ME WANT TO WEAR MY OWN ASS FOR A HAT PURELY BECAUSE THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BIT LESS PAINFUL THAN THE ASSPAIN THAT IS EARLY ACCESS IN THIS ETERNAL CRUSADE.

    FIRST OFF: DATA, YOU TYPE LIKE A GODDAMN FOUR YEAR OLD WITH SCOLIOSIS. PUT IN SOME HOURS ON MARIO TEACHES TYPING BEFORE YOU HOP ON HERE AND VOMIT OUT A SALTPOST. MAMA MIA MOTHERFUCKER.

    SECONDLY:
    WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU ASSHOLES GET OFF SHITTING ON EACH OTHER LIKE A BUNCH OF ORKZ ON HOLIDAY? YOU ARE GODDAMN HUMAN BEINGS BEHIND A KEYBOARD, AND YOU ATTACK EACH OTHER LIKE YOU'RE CUTTING EACH OTHER OFF ON THE FREEWAY. YOU'RE ARGUING ON THE FUCKING INTERNET OVER GAME STATISTICS AND MECHANICS WITH A PASSION THAT SHOULD BE RESERVED FOR YOUR ACTUAL LIFE. TAKE A FUCKING NAP BEFORE YOU COMMENT ON A POST YOU DON'T LIKE, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER AND MORE ENERGIZED TO GET PISSED OFF AT SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS: LIKE DIGGANOBZ.

    THIRDLY:
    I HAVE PLAYED THIS GAME SEVERAL TIMES OVER THE PAST WEEK. EVERY SINGLE TIME I'VE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE GLORIOUS SPACE MARINES VERSUS SOME OTHER FACTION NOT WORTH MENTIONING BY NAME. AND MORE OFTEN THAN NOT SPACE MARINES GET FUCKING STOMPED ON, BECAUSE ALL YOU SHITS DO IS YELL AT EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF SHOOT THE GODDAMN ENEMY. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THE MECHANICUS IS DOING BUT NOBODY SEEMS TO KNOW WHY THE FUCK A POWERFIST DOESN'T JUST SMASH A KNIFE INTO PIECES ALONG WITH THE ASSHOLE HOLDING IT.
    OH AND BEFORE YOU DUMB XENO/HERETICAL SHITS START GLOATING, I'VE SAT ON YOUR GODDAMN BENCH TOO, AND YOU AREN'T ANY BETTER WHEN IT COMES TO IN-GAME CHAT. IT'S LIKE A BUNCH OF MONKEYS FLINGING THEIR OWN SHIT AT A KEYBOARD.

    FOURTHLY - YEAH I'M MAKING UP NEW WORDS LET'S GO:
    DO ELDAR EVEN EXIST ANYMORE? OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY SPANKING EACH OTHER'S POINTED ASSCHEEKS TO PLAY THE GODDAMN GAME? LIKE HALF THE REASON I LANDED MY ASS ON ARKHONA WAS BECAUSE bE WOULD RATHER ADD IN THE BLACK TEMPLARS OVER THE ANGRY MARINES - YEAH HOLD ON I'LL GET MAD ABOUT THAT LATER. AND THE OTHER HALF WAS TO SPANK ELDAR ASS SO HARD THAT EVEN SLAANESH WOULD BE A BIT REPULSED. GET ON THE GODDAMN GAME AGAIN, OR AT LEAST GET ON AT REASONABLE HOURS SO I CAN PULL YOU FUCKERS OUT OF THE SKY AND TURN YOUR SKELETAL SYSTEMS INTO A FINE POWDER.

    FIFTHLY - BY THE EMPEROR WHY ISN'T SPELLCHECK ON ME YET:
    BLACK TEMPLARS? YOU WANT TO ADD THEM, BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN GET DECENT(AND REASONABLY PRICED) COSMETICS FOR THE OTHER FACTIONS? HOLD THE FUCK UP. BECAUSE NOW I'M ANGRY AT MORE THAN JUST THE FACT YOU'D RATHER THROW THOSE WORLD EATER WANNABES INTO THE GAME RATHER THAN THIS MEME CHAPTER I REPRESENT. LIKE... Goddamn. That hurts.

    SIXTHLY - OH NOW YOU WANNA STOP ME SPELLCHECK? FUCK YOURSELF, I'M STILL GOING:
    THE EMPEROR PROTECTS MOTHERFUCKERS.

    PS: Leroy is a butt.
  8. Mauf DrMauf Subordinate

    [​IMG]
    Faeruin likes this.
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