Gender: Male Occupation: Heretic Management Department Location: Blood Angel's Strike Force Cruiser 999 Soviet Marines were sent to the Ork Infested planet - Badlanding. All 999 Soviet Marines landed fiercely onto the Xenos skulls. All 999 Soviet Marines faced glory, fame and success in the name of the Emperor. 5th Company's Tactical Sergeant of the Soviet Marines - Dimitrius Kirrolov, was not one of them, as his drop pod was bashed into deep space by a space faring, pimped out Thunderhawk of the drunken Angry Marines FU company. After centuries of floating in deep space at the speed of light, Dimitrius got bored of watching the onboard soap programmes of a nearby mobile Eldar craftworld, and kicked off into deep space without a helmet. With a single punch, he smashed the thrusters of the craftworld, forcing both to go through the tunnel of love, also know as the Warp. After a decade of eating cotton candy and hooking up to an Eldar warlock chick, Dimitrius had a wife, 3 Half-Elf Eldar kids, a job, and a lifetime health insurance - courtesy of Chaos Lord Nurgle. Just as Dimitrius was going to give up on his 3 hours and 16 minutes career of being an active Space Marine, the craftworld was kicked from the warp due to it's overwhelming gambling debt. The craftworld smashed into the peaceful planet Arkona with the speed of light, causing massive earth quakes that revealed a Love TunnelWarp gate. Dimitrius survived the crash due to being the only one who read the "Wearing Seatbelts for Dummies" 1738 page manual, now with colorful pictures!™ manual, but mostly due to being too drunk to know what's going on. Dimitrius Kirrolov, the almost retired Soviet Marine 5th Company Tactical Sergeant who've just lost his dog, his bank account, his entire family, and a bet with Nurgle - did what any other 5th Company Tactical Sergeant would do if they would lose their dog, their bank account, their entire family, and a bet with Nurgle. He got out of the craftworld and pissed on a tree. The Codex-Astartes names this maneuver Piss Rain. Due to having a cheap Eldar whiskey in his hand, he did not recognize that he was pissing on an Ork fungus - that would later spawn the most stupid, yet somehow most effective Orks in the history of ElfHuman-Kind. Having single-handedly created the most @#*$}&-up Crusade in history, the dead guy on a golden throne Holy Emperor sensed the headache Dimitrius had after the hang over and sent his bestmeatshields troops - the savior of the world and the idols of humanity -the Heretics The Space Marines, into the once peaceful planet of Arkona. Half conscious - Dimitrius went to the nearest Blood Angels BloodfestChapel to request more beer. The Blood Angels veteran toilet cleanerChaplain has realized the fashion style Dimitrius had, and was deemed hardcore when he sniffed back the blood from his nose as he was suffering from a severe diarrhea blow to the head due to the crash (and cheap Eldar whiskey). Dimitrius was accepted into the Blood Angels 1st Company (even though he never asked) with great respect, and is now drinkingfighting on Arkona in the name of the rotting corpse on a golden throne Holy God-Emperor. Occasionally, he goes by the name Blood Face because everyone knows that Blood Angels love Scar Face. -Written by Dimitrius himself, who likes writing about Dimitrius. "Cheeki Breeki"
Welcome to the forums.... I especially like the part about liking to write about oneself. I heard the Chaos Hamster likes that too!
welcome and indeed, ti's a funny story, it's a bit sad to see after what all happen to you, you still serve the corpse emperor, may nurgle accept you again
