IT'Z ON DA ZOGGIN FURST PAGE, YA GIT. http://dabelchas.enjin.com/ I'd be roight 'appy to, 'erez me flashiest git.
Done. Registered on the site aswell. Also, a picture of me (waiting for the next patch for betta looks (goggles))
An Orksmas Carol Twas’ the night before Orksmas and Da Lead Belchas compound was seemingly bursting with celebration and merriment, even by Orkish standards. Grots and Orks alike shared mugs of strong fungus beer in Da Main Hall, taking it in turns to amaze and astound the other Orks around them with tales of battles they had taken part in, often pausing near the end for extra dramatic effect. While other Orks told tall tales in Da Great Hall, others would crowd around Da Fightin’ Pits, placing bets on duelling Orks whilst also jostling and shoving other Orks in order to get the best views of the combatants. This resulted in whole stockpiles of weapons, assorted bits and even a few Squigs being bet on a single fighter, these were then lost with shouts and groans to the amusement of the other spectators. However, one such Ork was not in the same merry mood as the other drunken and over-excited Orks that filled the compound. An Ork that despised the very idea and concept of Orksmas. This creature’s name, was Kadbrakk. Kadbrakk was a runtish Ork, preferring to keep to himself inside his own crudely set up ‘Doks Tent’. He was also a very greedy and perverse fellow. Keeping all of his flashy bits, Grots and extra tools to himself. Kadbrakk barged his way inside the inner walls of Da Lead Belchas compound, his mole-like, beady little eyes scanning every which way until he started to pace forward, his assorted Dok’s Tools making their own little clinking noises as he stomped his way toward his Dok’s Tent. Behind him, he appeared to be dragging a human sleigh filled with scrap metal, with a puny, snot-green Grot sitting astride it, often letting out small giggles as the sleigh hit hidden bumps in the ground. Upon turning his head to the right, Kadbrakk saw other Orks singing a well-known Orkish war song, standing on the rotted wooden tables and flinging their mugs of fungus beer around with shrieks of delight and roars of amusement as several of their mugs hit their targets. Kadbrakk then grunted and looked ahead of him again, muttering silent curses to himself. “Bah.. ‘Umbug..” After what seemed like a painfully long time for Kadbrakk, he finally reached his Doks Tent, a shoddy piece of craftsmanship which was situated well away from the rest of the other Orks. Kadbrakk threw open the flap of the tent, trudging his way inside with more small grunts. Once he and the sleigh were inside, he collapsed into a metal contraption that would be described as ‘I wanted a chair but had no idea what I was doing’ and rubbed his leathery hands over his eyes. The Snot-Green Grot lept off of the sleigh, doing a small hop for joy as he hit the floor. He then immediately began rummaging through the sleigh’s contents, often sniffing or biting at especially choice pieces of metal. “Leave da zoggin’ fing, Sniggins, we’z ain’t got no bloody loot, just like usual.” Sniggins looked up to Kadbrakk, his face falling as Kadbrakk spoke, he had been looking forward to sorting through the ‘loot’ that Kadbrakk had found. He placed a chunk of metal that looked like a rusted door handle back into the little pile and hopped over to Kadbrakk sprawled out in his chair. “B-but, Boss. We’z gotta ‘ave sumfink dis time, I’z know it!” Sniggins shook Kadbrakk’s arm as he spoke. This was an obvious mistake as the small little creature was thrown sideways out of the tent’s main flap and sent sprawling into the snow a few feet away. Kadbrakk then let out a sigh and pushed himself up from his little camp chair, trudging over to a metallic-looking safe to which Kadbrakk then threw open and grabbed several bottles of fungus beer. “Ere’s to annuder’ lousy Orksmas..” Kadbrakk pulled off the cork of the bottle, opened his jaw and spent the next half a minute drinking the entire contents of the bottle, Kadbrakk knew that he was simply dampening his spirits, but at least the Fungus Beer kept him happy and light-headed for a few short moments, as he had done for most Orksmas’s that had happened over the years. His eyes had gone dark and lost their reddish-orky glow from many years alone on Orksmas. As the Fungus Beer began to take effect, he collapsed back into his seat and allowed his mind to wander, closing his eyes and looking up at the ceiling, his mind explored his miserable past. From his first day on Arkhona where a well-placed bolter round had sadly damaged his much-loved Bionic Eyepiece which made him look intimidating. To his last Orksmas where he had had his head ripped off by Rokdak, only to be sewed on again. As Kadbrakk spaced out, there was a sudden gust of wind which opened the tent flap, filling the tent with a cold breeze and a noise which sounded like a sharp whistle. Kadbrakk’s eyes flicked open and he raised his head. An Orkish figure was standing infront of him, a tall and grizzled looking creature with several pieces of mismatched armour on his person. Space Marine Power Armour, Eldar Wraithbone and Chaos Spikes adorned his body all the way down to his legs, which were splattered with blueish paint. Around his neck hung several ornaments which were adorned with many sigils and colours. He appeared to be grinning. “Weren’t expecting dat, were ya?” The creature spoke with such easy arrogance that Kadbrakk was momentarily shocked. It took him a few moments for his mouth to start moving. “Wot.. Wot are ya?” Kadbrakk’s eyes were looking over the Ork’s body, he knew that he was looking at some sort of Deathskull.. “Don’t matter wot I woz.. Let’s just say, I’z da ghost of Orkish Lootin’.” Now, Kadbrakk was not the sort to believe in nonsense such as Ghosts. He had spent most of his life by himself and had not a single encounter with ridiculous things such as this. However, when an Ork appears in your tent with an odd glow and a presence that makes the area around him blow heavily with wind, you are generally inclined to believe such things. Kadbrakk got to his feet and found himself looking up at the Ghost of Orkish Looting, a good two-feet difference separated the two Orks which was made quite comical when Kadbrakk uttered “I don’t believe ya.. Prove it.” The Ghost of Looting let out a laugh and grabbed Kadbrakk by his shoulder. He then began walking with quick and powerful strides into the depths of the Doks Tent, but upon reaching the very back, he continued to walk into the snow and well way from Da Lead Belchas Compound. Very soon, they were wandering into the hills and forests that surrounded the compound. Once they were a reasonable distance away, the ghost released Kadbrakk and looked at him. “I’z been sent as a warnin, I ‘ave. Continuin’ on yer selfish ways ain’t gonna help no one, is it?” Kadbrakk let out a grunt of annoyance and strode away from the ghost, walking into the trees. However, a few moments later the blue-clad Ork was once more infront of him. “Ye fink yer gonna fix anythin’ by runnin’ away from yer problems?” “I’z don’t need no panzy ghost tellin’ me what ta’ do wif me problems. I’z bloody well happy by myself!” The Deathskull grinned and placed a hand on Kadbrakk’s shoulder once more and then stood behind him. He pointed forward into the treeline and began to talk quietly. “Really now? Let’s show ye what yer selfishness has caused, eh?” A swirling mass of energy lit up the trees a few feet away from the odd pair, turning the forest into a display of images and colour. After a few moments, Kadbrakk realized he was looking at a picture of Sniggins, his Gretchin. Sniggins was being held upside down by an Ork and shaken around with shouts of encouragement from the others around him. Another series of images lit up in the swirling mass of energy, focusing on images of injured Orks in various states of pain, as Kadbrakk had not been tending to any of his supposed patients, leaving them without arms, legs or eyes. “Fink about dis when da rest of us show up ta’ show you da error o’ yer ways, Eh?” Kadbrakk began to speak, but as he turned around, the blue-clad ghost had seemingly vanished, leaving Kadbrakk alone in the wilderness. Wherever Kadbrakk turned, he could not find any trace of the creature, even shouting out did nothing but get him more frustrated, giving him a slight headache. Kadbrakk let out a sigh and shook his head, he must’ve been imagining things, the Fungus Beer must’ve been stronger than he was used too. Suddenly, a roar of sound made Kadbrakk cover his ears and turn away from the roar of engines, horns and exhausts. As he was covering his ears, a bright red Ork Warbike with Big Shootas mounted on every possible angle of the bike leapt into the clearing where Kadbrakk was. Kadbrakk couldn’t see clearly, but as the bike came to a stop, he saw a small figure leap off of the front of the bike and land smoothly on his feet. What Kadbrakk saw was a runtish-looking Ork like himself, clad in red goggles with flames on the edges, a tall hair squig mounted on his head, metal plates adorned with the same red colourscheme with flames covered its body and its shoes were made out of a very shiny golden metal. It ran over to Kadbrakk and tackled him to the ground, laughing with a high-pitched voice. “Dis is proppa fun dis is, you’z should try dis bike sometime!” The hyped-up red creature then leapt off of Kadbrakk and pulled him to his feet before doing leaping up and down a few times. “Ghost of Orkish Speed, at yer service!” Kadbrakk kept attempting to speak, but the ghost seemed to have no intention of shutting his mouth for even a single moment, as it seemed more concerned with getting words out whilst also pulling Kadbrakk along and tossing him into the back seat of the Ork Warbike. “Fink dere’s seatbelts, I’ll explain on da way!” The Red Ghost let out a shout of excitement and leapt into the front seat of the Warbike, the sound that the bike made when the Ghost kicked the bike into life was enough to make Kadbrakk feel slightly sick, but that didn’t compare to the sudden burst in speed that Kadbrakk suddenly found himself exposed to as he was thrown backward in his seat. The Bike crashed into trees, bushes and several small animals in an attempt to clear enough space in order to get out of the forest. Once enough trees had been knocked down, the warbike seemingly flew down the hill that Kadbrakk had been standing on. The Ghost of Orkish Speed then turned around in his seat, taking his hand off of the handlebars and sat cross-legged, staring at Kadbrakk whilst giggling. “So, I’z expect dat you’z know wots goin’ on? We ghosts ain’t the easiest to handle fer newcomers such as yerself.” Kadbrakk finally spoke up as the ghost took a breath. “Yer mean dat dere’s more o’ you bloody ghosts? How many do I need ta’ talk to before ye leave me to me zoggin’ self?” The Ghost of Orkish Speed shook its shoulders “Enuff of us ta’ make ye see what yer selfishness is doin. And wot will happen if ye don’t change yer ways. ‘Owever, me own special job is ta show you wot will ‘appen if ye do listen to us.” The Ghost nodded its head to the right, but there was such a blur due to the speed of the bike that Kadbrakk wasn’t sure what he was meant to be seeing. A few seconds passed before Kadbrakk saw, it was similar to what the Ghost of Orkish Looting had shown him. Flashing images and colours which seemingly showed the past, present and future. The first thing Kadbrakk saw was himself seated around a table with several other Orks, something which he had always wanted to be a part of, they were all drinking from mugs, laughing, fighting, generally just having a good time. The image was so lifelike that Kadbrakk reached his arm out to grab at the image, possibly believing that he could transport himself there. However, as he reached for it, the image shifted and showed Kadbrakk sitting by himself, all light and happiness drained away as it showed him slumped over at a table, seemingly unconscious and dead to the world. As Kadbrakk drew back his arm, he saw another image forming to his left, an image showing him with a grin on his face, handing out pieces of loot to a queue of Gretchins that had formed up outside his tent, each Gretchin walked away with a shiny piece of metal with smiles on their faces. Kadbrakk then blinked sadly as the image shifted once more and showed the opposite, a single gretchin, presumably Sniggins, shivering by himself in the snow. “Wot would ye rather ‘ave, Kadbrakk? I’d ‘urry up and decide.. we’z got about 5 seconds.” Kadbrakk was about to ask what the ghost meant, before the warbike came to a screeching halt and Kadbrakk was thrown sideways, out of the seat and his head collided with a gnarled old tree that had seen its fair share of collisions, perhaps the Ghost of Orkish Speed regularly crashed around here. Kadbrakk’s world was a haze of blackness for a few moments as he blinked himself back into reality. As he blinked, he realised that he was upside down, with his legs in the air and his back pressed firmly against the tree which he had been thrown at. He rolled around and found his feet, muttering and dusting himself off from the leaves and pieces of bark that had lodged themselves in his skin. As Kadbrakk looked upward, he came face-to-face with a gargantuan Ork who was a very dark shade of green, with large, multiple sets of curving bulls horns mounted on his skull. He was covered head-to-toe in ‘Eavy Armour with only a few skulls and splodges of Black paint for ornament. A large Power Klaw was attached to its left arm, which Kadbrakk was swiftly grabbed by and lifted off of his feet, until he was being held with his body seemingly frozen against the force of the Klaw. “Listen, ye git. The Ghost of Orkish Brutality ain’t da most patient o’ fellows, unnerstand?” Kadbrakk would’ve nodded if his body wasn’t being crushed by the Klaw. The Black-Clad Ghost then turned on his heel and stomped into the forest, the very tops of the trees brushing against the creature’s knees. Kadbrakk then experienced a quick burst of vertigo as he was moved around and placed on the Ghost’s armour-plated shoulder. It was large enough to accommodate several Orks of Kadbrakk’s size, which amazed him and took him a few moments of comprehension to finally speak up. However, as soon as he spoke, the creature cut him off. “Bah. Selfish gits like yerself ‘ave been the bane of Ork Klans since da dawn o’ time. Ye wanna see wot dis’ll do ta’ yer?” The Ghost bent down and grabbed one of the tallest trees in the forest, lifting it over his shoulder and throwing It a fair distance. It then began to run into the clearing where the tree had landed. It took only a few seconds, as the creature seemed to crash through the forest with relative ease. It then grunted and waved its Klaw at the ground below. “Take a look.” Kadbrakk peered down from the Ghost’s shoulder, he couldn’t clearly see from the height he was at, but what he saw at first was a host of Orkish Bodies thrown into a pile, with a single Space Marine lighting the corpses on fire with a Flamer. “Wot am I meant to see?” Kadbrakk turned his head and said to the Ghost. It pointed with it’s Klaw as another host of Space Marines entered the area, dragging the body of another Ork with them. It was runty, with small, beady, mole-like eyes that had lost their reddish glow. Kadbrakk gaped a few times as he saw the Space Marine take the Flamer and douse his entire body with flames. The Space Marines then left the clearing, leaving only the smouldering corpse of Kadbrakk behind. “If ye weren’t hoarding metal and akshully ‘elpin yer fellow Orks, ye could’ve beaten back these gits. Is dis what ye want to ‘appen?” Kadbrakk was silent for a few moments, taking in what he had just seen. He had to change his ways, it made sense to him now. What was the point of acting like a selfish and depressing git? Sniggins hadn’t deserved to been treated like he had been, either. “Fink about it.” The Ghost of Orkish Brutality grunted once more and grabbed Kadbrakk with its Klaw again. He was then lifted over the Ghost’s shoulder and thrown with such force that Kadbrakk began to scream, he flew over hundreds upon hundreds of trees and hills, doing flips every which way. As Kadbrakk began to reach the ground, he lifted his hands up to his face and accepted his fate. Kadbrakk opened his eyes and gasped a few times. He was back in his Dok’s Tent, sprawled out in his camp chair with bottles of empty Fungus Beer strewn around the room. He coughed and gasped a few times more before he pushed himself to his feet and rested his arms on his operating table. Had it been fate that allowed him to experience the ghosts? Had he simply been dreaming? It was hard to tell as Kadbrakk rubbed his eyes and mouth before he pushed himself away from the table and strode out of his tent. He peered around, his mouth agape as he saw that he was back in Da Lead Belchas compound. He then looked down to see a familiar, snot-green figure sprawled out in the snow only a few feet away from Kadbrakk. Kadbrakk grinned for the first time in many years, an odd sensation as he felt his body overwhelmed with happiness and excitement that he thought he couldn’t possibly feel again. He walked confidently over to Sniggins’s body, lifting him up and poking him in the head. “Sniggins?” The Gretchin blinked a few times before it realised that Kadbrakk was holding him. He then flinched away, not saying a word and cringing, fearing behind struck once more. Kadbrakk grinned again, he placed the Gretchin on the ground and crouched down to his level. “What’s say you and me head to Da Great Hall? Fungus Beer’s on me.” Kadbrakk spoke in a calm and stoic way, perhaps his dream really had changed him after all. Sniggins took a few seconds to recognise what Kadbrakk had just said before it squealed happily and jumped onto Kadbrakk’s shoulder. Kadbrakk breathed happily and let out a short laugh before he strode into the direction of Da Great Hall, his mind racing with excitement. If there is anything to take away from this story, ladies and gentlemen. Kindness is the one gift that won’t cost you anything this year and is the most important gift that a person could receive. ‘Ave a Merry Orksmas, ya gits. -Kadbrakk
Alright. Got around four FLASH FUCKIN' ORKS. It might be a little bit due to working a day job in December and having other things on my plate, but I'll plaster the completed mess here when it's done.
A quick compilation of plain Stikk Bombs and their usage because our gits apparently think they suck for some reason, It should be edumakkational fer ya. Complete with soothing soundtracks, because the screaming in these clips was already showcased in the previous video..
