ALRIGHT YA GITZ LISTEN 'ERE. Wez about ta drop on dis 'ere world were da Spess Mahrne Gitz N eldar Pansies is havin a good scrum. Now We needs ta make sure wez Proppa redy fer da fighta ta come! Now Meny uv us boyz is gunna gets yerselvs krumped roight gud yu iz, but iff ya listen ta me advice wez gunna give deez zoggin gits what for! YA WIFF ME BOYZ? ROIGHT! Iz gunna lay down da basics of fightin in a WAAAGH in a way dat even a snotling ken understend! 1) NO BOY FOIGHTS ALONE Dis 'ere is da single most importunt rule Iz givin ya. We all wunts ta show off how big and flash we iz. But even da best Nob gets 'is back end turned up ta where his 'ead ought ta be eventua... event.. Soonah er latah! Wez da ORKZ DA ORKZ! Wez da green tide un wez should act like it! If wez charge in All at once den deys can't hit us wiff enough Dakka ta kill all uv us, Ya see!? PROPPA Cunnin it iz! 2) COMMUNICATE How dum yaz haff ta bee ta not be loud and chatty? Ya needs to get o a point shout WAAAAAGH N GET YER BOYS WIFF YA! Ya needs ta defend like a "umie git? SHOUT WAAAAAAGH N GETS YER BOYS TA HOLD DA POINT! Taunt da ovah boyz about how much bitz dere is in the ovah point, so deyz gunna go out N getz it! See Cunnin! Get yer boys workinn WIFF yu! 3) MAINTAIN YER SQUADS Wut? 4) RECOVERY IZ MORE PROPPA DEN FLASHY KILLS NO IT AINT! If yuz a proppa boy, den yuz gonna be doin two fings! KRUMPIN GITZ N TAKIN BITZ! If Yuz aint krumpin a Git, yu best be takin a point! But If yas tryin ta plat Stratalogical like, den Maybe yuz should help out da runty gitz who got krumped before ya get flash killy on da Spess Marine boyz. Aftuh all, da more boyz we has the more we ken WAAAAGH! 5) NO WUN LOOK UP FER AN ASSULT Dats why da storm boyz is gunna be der! Its proppa sneaky like! If dey kent see yas, dey wunt shootz yaz! EVEN A GROT KEN UNDERSTAN DAT LOGIC! Dont be out in da open N get shot like a Chav git! 6) TAKE DA POINT SHOOT EVERYFING DAT MOVES DEN WEZ WAAAAAGH When ya goz N take a point keep on da point N yer enemy will come to yu! ITS DA BEST FING EVAH!!! If Yus take a point N leave, Yuz a GIT! Da 'Oomies calls dis taktuk "Defending" 7) GET YER TRUKKS BOYS N GET CLOSE! Ferget wut dat 'oomie says, Get yer trukks as close to da point as ya ken! Den jump out and WAAAAAAGH N iff dat trukk gets Slagged, GET ANUVAH WUN AND RAM IT INTA DA POINT... zoggin gitz... 8) THE LONGER THEY ARE ON THE GROUND THE LONGER THEY CAN'T SPAWN HA HA HA HA! Oh wait... dis git is serius.... Oh... NAH! ZOG EM BOYZ WAAAAAAAAAAAGH! 9) THE ENEMY IS BETTER PREPARED THAN YOU BUT GREEN IZ BEST! Remember dat boys. Dey may have der Strategies N dier training. N May have better bitz den us.... N DATS WHY WEZ GUNNA SMASH EM N TAKE DER BITZ! 10) GLORY IS FLEETING No it aint! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Dere I covered da basics! If ya gits follow dis 'ere Fread N fight with a tratalogical N cunnin mind, we's gunna show deez oomies N pasy Eldar gitz dat da orkz is the best evah. YA WIFF ME BOYZ!? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
(12) THINK YOU HAVE ENUF DAKKA NOW? WRONG! NEVAH ENUF DAKKA! (13) WE'Z BE REAL GOOD IN DA CLOSE FOIGHTS, DON'T TRY TA SNOIPE 'EM FROM FAR AWAY! (14) SCREAM WAAAAAGH OVER YOUR MICROPHONE WITH YER MATES! BOOSTS MORALE!
(15) Charge afta da gitz yuz shootin' at. Yuz wanna be in close for a gud stompin'! (16) Hollar lotz an' shoot lotz so Gork an' Mork will 'ere ya and pay attention!
EHEEHHEHE WOT WUZ DAT? KULDN'T 'EAR YA OVA ALL DIS DAKKA seerusly tho, Da Leadbelchas are in charakta loik alwayz an deyz da biggest active ork klan...soo.. wot I'z sayin iz dunt be a negative nacy youze give da lot 'ere a bad look
Let me'z be tha git who corrects yer STUPIDLEH GROTTY point. TRUKKS DON'T SPAWN FAST ENUFF TA RUSH 'EM IN WITH! I don't CARE 'bout wot you say about it, Trukks are mobile Spawn Points fer a good reason! Ye PLANT 'DAT 'FING somewhere hidey so tha 'Umies and Panzies gotz ta bother lotz to get rid of it, or ya keep it OCCUPIED WITH A GUNNER and krooze around dakkain' gits and other Trukks up! Doin' wot you sez just leaves tha rest of the Boyz slaggin' from one point to anotha, riskin' EVEN MORE DAKKA on 'em! SO DON'T BE A SELFISH GROT! GET THA TRUKK IN SAFETEH, OR KEEP THA ENGINE AND GUN RUNNIN' AND DAKKAIN'! But other than 'dat, these 'fings seem good ta me!
